Father's footsteps
by merdarkandtwisty
Summary: Spencer Reid isn't who people think he is. He holds secrets. his parentage. his friendships. This is his journey with his family and the one person he comes to love above all others
1. Chapter 1

A/N In this story Spencer's middle name is Reid and it was also Carolyn Rossi's Maiden name.

Spencer Reid Rossi loved his parents he really did but sometimes he couldn't stand them. It was hard being their son because sometimes nothing seemed good enough for them. He knew why, he knew they loved him, but he also knew that they always compared him to the ghost of James. Would James have been like him, better, worse? It was hard to live in the shadow of the ghost of a sibling you'd never met. So he pushed himself to be better to be smarter, but with every grade he skipped and degree he earned he saw that flash of what if on his parents face.

He followed his father's foot steps into the BAU all his father did was pat him on the back and say good luck. Not that he and his father were super close. No that was more him and his mother his father was to busy chasing down ghost of cases past and ghost of his own past. To busy marrying wife after wife. Just to busy over all. After he'd retired from the BAU Spencer had hoped that it would change that there would be more time. It hadn't panned out that way though. His dad had went from Top BAU to best selling Author traveling the world.

So Spencer kept in contact with his mother and he buried himself in his work and he lied about his name because being a genius with an IQ of 187 with an eidetic

memory and more degrees then most of the department combined already set him apart made him different he didn't want his last name to get in the way too. So he went by his middle name his mother's maiden name. He knew it pissed his father off and maybe just maybe that's why he did it

Only two people knew who he really was at the BAU Jason Gideon and Aaron Hotchner. He'd known Jason his whole life. Aaron he'd met well he was visiting his father in Settle during a case years back. He'd been fifteen at the time and hadn't thought much about the older man. It wasn't until a year later when Aaron as he'd been told to call him came to DC and joined the BAU that Spencer really started to get to know him. not well as he'd been in California but he'd see him when he'd come home for visits. A tentative friendship formed between the two of them. where Jason Gideon was more a paternal figure. Aaron Hotchner was more of a best friend. So it was odd when at 21 after being Friends with Aaron Hotchner for years. After his father had retired. Spencer Joined the BAU and Aaron Hotchner or Hotch as he now called him was his boss.

Hotch and Gideon kept his secrets. Haley Hotch's wife kept his secrets. He felt bad lying to Morgan, Garcia and JJ but he just didn't want anyone else to know to connect him. to think he'd gotten into the BAU because of Nepotism.

He wanted them to see him for him. Not for his father. There was a lot about Spencer Reid that his co-workers at the BAU didn't know. And his name wasn't even the most surprising. No the most surprising was no matter how he and Hotch were in the field in the office. They were still best friends outside. NO one would believe it some wouldn't even believe it if they saw it with their own eyes. This is the story of Spencer Reid Rossi and Aaron Hotchner. Best friends to lovers. No one saw this coming especially not his father.


	2. Chapter 2

I don't own Criminal Minds.

After Boston, his father had called him. he'd answered assured him he was okay and the he'd gotten drunk with Hotch. Morgan would never had believed it but then Morgan wasn't there Morgan was hooking up with god knew how many trainee's.

"They'd raised shot after shot to their fallen comrades and the next morning He'd been more hungover then he could ever remember being.

His father had visited a week later, coming from whatever edge of the country he'd been to for his latest book tour.

His mother had called, she'd visited which had been okay he guess at least they semi got along.

"I'm fine." He assured them. and he was. He was okay he was alive. He wasn't sure if Gideon would ever be the same. That hurt. Morgan, he would bounce back. Hotch. Well He knew something about Hotch that many people didn't.

That night as they'd set drinking in that hole in the wall bar where no one knew them and people didn't ask questions so know one would question them about the case and their roles in it. Hotch had told him that he and Haley were expecting a baby.

"Congrats man." He clinked his glass against Hotch's letting the alcohol burn down his throat.

He'd hugged Haley an offered his congratulations the next time he saw her. She'd chuckled and shook her head. "Of course you know. He couldn't keep a secret from you." She'd hugged him. "I'm glad you're safe Spencer."

"Thanks." He whispered.

Now here it was six months later and his parents had both went back to their lives assured that he wasn't going to fall apart. Haley was nearing her due date, and a major case had just been brought up. Gideon was coming back. Directors orders.

"Are you sure this is the correct move." Spencer hissed having closed Aaron's office door and locking it.

"No but it's not mine to make orders directly from the director you know that. Morgan is already on the war path. I could use your support."

He sighed. "Fine, okay Aaron I have your back. I'll go and inform Gideon." And with that he flicked the lock and walked out of the office shedding the friend persona and putting back on his Dr. Reid face. He passed Morgan who like Aaron had said didn't look happy. He found Gideon in his classroom. The older man nodded as they walked into the office. He could tell he was going to try and get out of this going on about sending them his profile. Until Hotch had stepped in and told him he was coming along.

It was awkward don the plane and even more so once they got to the Seattle Field office and Morgan started to question every move. Spencer stepped up he did what was asked. He had Aaron's back. He'd always have Aaron's back Just as Aaron would always have his even if it had to be masked in some type of Hero worship for Gideon.

Jason Gideon what an interesting man. Much like his father, Gideon was cut off from his only son. His father and Gideon had an odd relationship a mix between friend and Rival and Spencer wasn't going to lie working for Gideon got under his father's skin and he enjoyed that just a little too much.

He watched it all spiral. Gideon told them it was time to give the profile. Morgan about went off the deep end. And as both the men left the room leaving him alone with Aaron he turned to the other man.

"Do we trust this?" he whispered across the table so low that no one else could hear.

"For now we go with it." Hotch sighed rubbing his neck. "I've got Morgan you're on Gideon." Spencer nodded heading out of the room.

Aaron watched the younger man go. His best friend which was weird considering he was eleven years older than the other man and had met when the other was still a teenager but in some weird way it worked. Haley joked that Spencer understood him better than she did at sometimes. He figured it was probably true. Both working the high stress job together inside work for so many hours outside of work together maybe just as much.

Their friendship a secret from their co-workers maybe just as much to hide Spencer's secret as because they figured they'd never understand. Aaron didn't know how this would turn out. But he knew Spencer had his back and at this moment that's all that mattered.

Both Aaron and Spencer had to agree if Silently that Gideon's profile was good. Spencer watched Aaron from the corner of his eye as they set up the sting of what they were sure was their unsub.

"You ready?" Spencer heard Hotch as the other agent, a Miss Elle Greenway. He didn't question Hotch, not here not now. Not with people watching but he wondered how well this agent would do.

After it was all said and done he had to admit that Elle Greenway had her merits now he was just worried about Gideon. In that room with that young man. That young man that he could see was getting into his head.

"Hotch pull him." Spencer said.

"I can't, one he's actually the boss even if we have forgotten that in all this mess. Two I think it's best if he see's this through." Spencer just sighed and shook his head. "I'm going to look around the room."

"Aaron was left watching the interview, left wondering how many pieces would have to be picked up after this and almost, almost took Spencer's suggestion that they pull Gideon. Hierarchy be damned.

In the end though, they'd found the girl, Gideon had saved her and they were on their way home. Life had a funny way of twisting and turning that way.

"Hey Reid I'll give you a ride home." Hotch called out at the Quantico parking garage. Spencer nodded sliding into the passenger side of Hotch's car.

"That was something I didn't think we'd pull off finding that woman alive."

"it was a close call." Aaron agreed.

"So Haley's still teasing you about naming him Gideon." Spencer turned and smiled.

"Yes and it's not funny."

"It has a good meaning though."

"it does but I don't want to put that on a child. Just like I don't want to name him after a serial killer I also don't want to give him a name associated with something like Gideon to much to live up to."

Spencer shivered knowing where he was coming from. The very reason he hide his own last name. "Just pick a name you like. He'll carve his own path. He has you and Haley as Parents. You'll love him for him. Not a name."

Aaron just looked over at him. "I hope you're right."

"You'll be good Aaron I promise." Spencer patted his shoulder as Aaron pulled up to Spencer's apartment building and let the other man out. "I'll see you tomorrow.

Aaron watched him go and hope what he said was true that he would be okay. He promised himself he'd be the father Spencer was so sure he could, would be.

Spencer walked into his apartment and looked around. Even if Aaron didn't believe it. Spencer new that Aaron would be a good father. A father better than either of theirs had every been. Aaron would make his son a priority. Would be proud of his every move. He wouldn't compare him. Aaron was a person any kid would be proud to call Dad. Spencer was sure of that.

He got ready for bed thinking of his own father. He hadn't heard from him in a few weeks and maybe just maybe he should reach out contact him see how he was but he was just to drained he couldn't think of anything but closing his eyes and hoping the nightmares of the things he'd seen wouldn't haunt him that night.

Darkness surrounded him only cut by the tiny nightlight by his bed. He could look down an unsub but the darkness that was something he couldn't handle. Life was funny that way he figured.

A/N thanks for all the favs, follows and reviews they are all appreciated.


	3. Chapter 3

I don't own Criminal minds.

"Dad stop." Spencer laughed. "You know he's lying but it was a good lie and it got him out of there alive. There isn't a way to tell why someone stutters. I'm sorry that Gideon got the case and you can't write about it." A tinge of angry sarcasm laced the words.

"Well son If I hadn't retired I would have been there. The guy never would have got the drop on me not like he did old Jason."

"Yes I'm sure." Spencer rolled his eyes. "Listen I'm walking into to the building I'll talk to you later." He shut her phone off and walked into the bull pen. He sat his things down and walked up to Aaron's office letting himself in.

"So expect a phone call from my father belly aching about how Gideon caught the footpath killer. He's calling any and everyone even remotely connected to the BAU I think he even mentioned calling Struass."

"Yeah the sooner both of them stop talking about the case the sooner we can all get back to work. Gideon has Trainee's in his office showing off." Aaron clicked some buttons on his computer and looked up at Spencer. "We have a new case coming through so I hope you're ready."

"Yeah repacked my go bag yesterday. How is Haley?"

"Cranky." Hotch chuckled.

"Well she's growing a human, I'm sure you'd be cranky too." Spencer pointed out.

"Hotch did you look over that video." Spencer jumped as the door opened behind him and JJ peeked her head through.

"Yeah, Lets get the team together."

JJ nodded. "Hey Spence." She hide her smile. No one really knew what was with the friendship between Hotch and Spencer they just knew it was there. They tried to hide it and most of the time they did a good job. The team knew though. They knew a lot of things. Well everyone but Elle but she was new and they didn't trust her yet.

They let the two men have their secrets though. They weren't hurting anyone and Hotch needed someone to be his friend. And so did Spencer so they let the two men think they still held a secret. The two men didn't know it but they had the rest of the BAU team firmly in their corner.

The team went over the arson case and headed to the scene. It was hours after they landed and everyone was on edge why, who? These were questions they couldn't answer just yet. No one noticed as Elle was giving her assessment that sounded eerily similar to Spencer and putting her foot in her mouth that Hotch had been listening. It took everything in him not to say something to Spencer there and then but he held back and didn't say anything. He'd sort it out later.

They felt like they were chasing their tails nothing was adding up. They went back to their hotel rooms that night hoping to get some sleep if even just a little and that there were no new fires set.

Spencer startled slightly when he heard a knock on his door. "Hotch." He stepped back. "Is everything okay there isn't another fire is there?"

"No." Hotch stepped fully into the room and closed the door behind him. "I wanted to talk to you about something I overheard today."

"Oh and what is that?"

"I heard you and Elle talking when she was giving her theory about the unsub."

"Oh." Spencer cringed.

"Spencer you're not those things. Not even close. If you were do you think me and you could have formed the friendship we've had all these years."

Spencer sat down on the bed looking at Hotch. "Well you kind of got stuck with me." You were friends with my father, then I went to work in the same unit as you. Not really a choice Hotch."

"Oh Spencer, you think you'd be my best friend if all of that was true. No if that was true I'd be just as close to your father, Gideon, Morgan. JJ. No our friendship isn't a pity friendship and I hope you don't really think it is. You're one of the best friends I've ever had. You've been there for me though everything since I've known you. You've been there for Haley too. She jokes that you're more likely to answer her phone calls then I am."

Spencer gave him a small smile. "I know you're right it's just the way I was raised it was different. Dad was always gone. I was skipping grades like crazy. Mom had her friends and I just didn't really fit in at school or at home." There were unspoken words there. Words about dead brothers and sad looks but Spencer didn't need to say them Aaron understood.

"I get it you know I do. Maybe that's why we're such great friends." Spencer just nodded Aaron didn't have to get into the truths about his drunk father. Favored brother or cold as Ice mother. Those topics had already been talked about between the two men.

Trying to make parental figures proud is what drove both men. It was their strength and their downfall.

"Get some sleep Spencer we need to be fresh in the morning." Hotch advised. The younger man nodded as he watched Aaron walk out of the room. He took a quick shower and crawled into bed hoping the morning would bring better results.

Hotch went back to his own room and dialed his wife. "Hey sweetie." Haley answered the phone.

"Hi how are you feeling tonight?"

"Well your son has decided to play soccer tonight so that's fun."

Hotch winced in sympathy for is wife. "We aren't catching any breaks here. I'm sorry I don't know when we'll be home."

"it's okay Aaron." Haley tried to move into a more comfortable position. I'm tired though so I'm going to get some sleep. Call me tomorrow when you can."

"Okay I love you."

"Love you too." Haley said." Hotch put down his cell phone and got into the shower before crawling into bed himself.

The next morning they were all scrambling to figure out that one missing piece what was making the unsub tick. Garcia and Gideon helped them figure out it had something to do with religion. Reid was so in his head that he couldn't even bare to eat. He put down the salad that Elle had thrown his way and tried to listen to what everyone around him was saying filtering their words.

He knew the answer was there he just couldn't his finger on what it was. Everyone scattered but he stayed going over the footage over and over and over until something Gideon said spiked him and ran around to the crime scenes.

The answer had been staring them in the face the whole time and they had been too narrow minded to see it. Aaron had put the final piece together leading them to their unsub and ultimately her stressor and break.

They'd saved the kids she'd tried to "Sacrifice" and headed one after one of their more unusual cases. Where nothing fit in the box it was supposed to.

Once they were back at Quintico Hotch offered Reid a ride once again. "Lets stop off and get something to eat before I drop you off."

"Okay." Spencer shrugged as Aaron pulled into an all night diner.

"I know you weren't eating those Salad's Elle was brining you. I know you hate them. I tried to grab something else for you but Elle was persistent. Sorry."

"Ah Elle is Elle." Spencer shrugged. "I haven't quite figured her out." He relaxed against the both happy to have the case over. He finished his food "Now lets get me home so that you can get home to Haley I'm sure she'll be happy to see you."

Aaron nodded as they left the diner and headed towards the car. Spencer knew when the news hit about the case they'd just solved his father would be calling.. Aaron knew that H wasn't sure how his life was turning out. Both men knew that they had each other to turn too.

Thanks to everyone who favored followed and reviewed.


	4. Chapter 4

I don't own Criminal Minds

Spencer wanted this case over with. He could see the strain on his face as they dealt with this bomb case. It was bringing back Horrible memories for all of them well all of them except Elle but then Elle hadn't been around back then.

Morgan had refused to come. His trust in Gideon still shaky and even more so when bombs were involved. He silently passed Hotch Coffee trying to keep the other man's spirts up as the older man held the team together by a thread.

Spencer himself was fielding text messages from both parents who were concerned that he was on another bomb case. They'd tried calling him but he'd sent them straight to voice mail. He was sure he'd get hell later for that but he had other things to worry about.

Spencer: I'm fine stop texting me. We've got to catch this unsub.

Dad: well I'm sorry it's just I worry, last bomb case didn't end so well.

Spencer: Stop being a hypocrite you were in a lot more dangerous situations when you were on the team.

With that Spencer slipped his phone back into is pocket and tried to focus on putting the pieces of the puzzle together.

"Parental issues?" Aaron smirked after making sure the others weren't paying attention.

"He seems to forget sometimes that I'm not twelve and oh yeah I can take care of myself. It's nothing he hasn't done himself." Spencer scowled.

"He just cares Spence." Aaron sighed."

"Yeah yeah." Spencer waved him away but couldn't help but smile because Aaron himself had smiled. "Why don't you go and call Haley see how she's doing. I'm sure she's glued to the TV and the stress can't be good for her."

"Yeah you're right." Aaron took a deep breath before stepping aside and calling Haley. She picked up after a few rings.

"Aaron are you okay?"

"I'm fine Haley I just wanted to call and check in with you. Make sure you and baby were okay."

"We're okay Aaron just worried about you it's all over the news about those bombs." Haley said thinking of the last time they had to deal with bombs.

"I know babe but don't worry about it we have it under control and everything will be fine, relax don't stress yourself out it's not good for you or the baby."

"Easier said then done, oh and thank Spencer for me."

"What for?"

"I know he's the one that got you to call me."

"Yeah okay." Aaron said knowing his wife knew him maybe a little too much. "Love you."

"Love you too." Haley said and the call was disconnected.

"Haley says thank you." Aaron whispered walking up to the younger man. Spencer nodded.

"I'm going to pick up dinner. Call me if anything breaks. Spencer said waving the paper where he'd taken the orders down. Aaron nodded.

Spencer came back half an hour later with dinner for everyone, it wasn't until after dinner was finished that the world blew apart on them. after Morgan called and informed them that the bomb had the signature of Bale. The floor seemed to drop out under the BAU Team. Spencer looked around the room. His stomach in knots. Everyone looked like that'd flashed back to that moment when everything had fallen apart and trust had been broken. Dead bodies. Blood. It all came flooding back. They all steeled themselves. They put their masks back in place and they figured out their next move.

Aaron was pacing the conference room when Spencer walked in. "Aaron?" Hotch turned.

The deputy director wants us to make a deal with Bale if we have to." Hotch balled his hand into a fist. "We can't make a deal with that son of a bitch Spencer we can't." he punched the wall.

"And we won't." Spencer said vehemently looking at his friend. We will outsmart him we will. Gideon is going to meet with him to talk. Let me go with him."

"Yeah okay. Stay behind after see if you can find anything in his correspondence."

"Of course." Spencer nodded. "And you no more punching things. You break your hand you're no good to us." Spencer walked out of the room and up to Gideon. "I'm going with you to see Bale."

"What Hotch think I can't handle it?"

"No he wants me to stay listen and then look through his correspondence see if I can find anything." Spencer didn't let on that he himself didn't trust Gideon.

He'd gotten a name and given it to Hotch, "Are you sure that's the name?"

"Yes Aaron I'm positive and Gideon thinks this could be our unsub."

"I have to call you back I just sent Elle to meet with a David walker who I think is the same David Walker you are talking about." Aaron shut down the phone and raised out of the police station.

Reid closed his eyes and sent up a silent plea for his friends.

That plea must have been heard by something or someone because some how everyone but the unsub had gotten out of a blast. Gideon had outsmarted Bale the hostage had been saved. He case closed and they went home. After they were back at Quantico and everyone else had left for the night Spencer sank into the chair across from Aaron's desk.

"You should get home to Haley, though You should probably leave the almost getting blown up part out of any story you decide to tell her."

"Yeah." Hotch snorted.

"Aaron why is it always you. Some how I'm always in the back ground and you are on those front lines. You take too many chances."

"I take the chances I need to take and I can see it in your eyes and your tone that you think you don't think you bring as much to the team as the others. This has to do with your father questioning your every move doesn't it?"

Spencer shrugged. "I can understand my mother she always hated the job but dad no I can't take it from him." He held up his cell phone I've got about twenty voice mails from my parents on here. I bet at least ten of them is my mother demanding I quite. Not sure I'll listen to them."

"You should they love you." Aaron said standing up. "Now I'm going to take your advice and get home to my wife you want a ride home?"

"No I think I'll take the subway clear my head."

Aaron nodded and the two men separated at Aaron's car. Spencer got onto the subway and held the phone up to his year listening to voice mail after voice mail from his parents ranging from his mother crying to his father trying to get updates. He shook his head promised himself he'd call them in the morning and deleted the messages.

A/N thanks to all the response to the story. Now for this story I'm not sure what to do with Haley. I know how and why they'll split up. No it's not the same as in the show. But I don't know if I should kill her like in Cannon or if I should save her so vote on my poll on my page.


	5. Chapter 5

I don't own Criminal Minds

It was his Birthday. Twenty fours having gone by since the day of his birth. His mother was flying in on the weekend to see him. She'd even threatened to come to what every place he was if he was on a case.

His dad had sent him expensive booze and cigars. Even though he knew Spencer didn't drink it or smoke the cigars. It was Dave Rossi's go to gift for anyone over the age of twenty one. Before that it was always cash, David Rossi wasn't that great when it came to personal gifts.

"Hey tonight me you Haley, dinner Haley's cooking and she won't take no for an answer." Aaron said as they walked into Quantico.

"And if we get a case?"

"Then the first night we get home and I have to take you and the team out for dinner."

"She's getting feisty." Spencer joked. "As long as it's not this weekend. If we do get a case I need it to end before this weekend. If not my mother has threatened to fly to where ever I am. And you know dad will follow just to upstage her and then all hell will break lose and everyone will know the truth and oh hell." Spencer muttered coming into the bull pen and seeing the cake sitting at his desk as JJ pounced and stuck the a stupid hate on head.

"Happy Birthday Spence." She smiled leading him over to the desk and cake. "Blow out the candles."

He rolled his eyes and blew, "These are trick aren't they." He glared at Morgan knowing it was his idea as the candles relit themselves.

"You think Dave sent him his custom present." Hotch asked watching his friend as he and Gideon leaned against the wall.

"Yep and Spencer will put it in a box and shove it in a closet. I bet if we went to his house right now we'd find four bottles. One for each year since he turned twenty one."

"You know he never spent the money Dave gave him all the years before that. It's in a special account."

"And what is that account for?" Gideon asked.

"His aunt." Was all Hotch said.

"You mean Caroline's sister?"

"Yeah." Neither man said anything else as the phone rang and Hotch went to answer it. He sighed turning to his friends. "Party's over guys we have a case. Round table now." He watched as everyone put down their cake and shuffled into the room. He presented the case and walked out. He couldn't handle to see the look on Spencer's face. Also he had to call Haley and give her the bad news. He strode towards the elevator to get to his car.

"Hello, you're calling to tell me you're off on a case and dinner is off aren't you?"

"Sorry we have to go to California. We'll do it when we come back if it's before this weekend if not then Monday."

"Why not this weekend?"

"Caroline is coming to town and if I can't get this case rapped up before that then to California."

"Well good luck with that because Caroline Reid Rossi is a nice lady and all but she's scary when she doesn't get her way." Haley said causing Aaron to laugh and remember to tell Spencer about it later. After his phone call to his wife he went to the air strip.

Aaron sat on the plane after they had debriefed and watched Reid He could guess what was going through the younger man's head. Wondering if his mother would actually show up if they didn't wrap up this case before the weekend. Wondering why his father didn't know him well enough to get a personal gift for him. probably thinking of James. The shadow that Spencer always lived under.

He remembered Spencer's 17th birthday the team had just gotten back from a case and Dave had invited him and Gideon over for dinner. Spencer had been visiting from college and Dave had ordered in. Dave's third wife had been long gone by then and Dave had told him that Caroline had been stuck in Europe plane trouble or something. he watched as Dave had handed Spencer an envelope. the boy's face falling as he looked inside.

"Thanks." He muttered stuffing it into his pocket. He'd found him outside later leaning against the railing of the balcony. Gideon and Dave off doing something.

"Not what you wanted?" Aaron asked causing Spencer to turn to him.

"Huh?"

"That envelope you got from your dad not what you wanted?"

Spencer laughed mirthlessly. "How much do you know about my father?"

"You're an only child from his first marriage. He's been married three times been a profiler longer then I've been alive." Aaron shrugged.

"Close but not right. Come with me." Spencer led them through the door and up the stairs. Aaron followed closely behind letting curiosity get the best of him as Spencer pushed a door open.

Aaron looked in, in wide-eyed wonder. "your old nursery?"

"Nope. Come on." a few doors down Spencer pushed another door open. "This is my room."

Aaron looked in the room a bit no descript but with lots of awards and books scattered around. "This does seem like you." Aaron nodded

. "Come in." Spencer stepped forward shutting the door behind Aaron.

"So what was with the other room?"

"That was my brother's room. James David Rossi Born April 26th 1979 died the same day. He was premature." Spencer shrugged. "That room was never changed if anything more and more presents get added to it. Birthday, Christmas when ever my father comes across something he thinks James might have liked." Spencer scowled.

"Yet he gave you money for your birthday?" Aaron said.

"Yes because he doesn't know what to get me. Oh wait no that's not true I think a part of him refuses to get to close to me in fear of losing me like he lost James. They never expected to have more kids after that but I was a surprise and soon after my birth my parents split up. Then wives two and three came along and dad wrote his books so."

"I know he's proud of you." Aaron said.

"Yeah maybe but not enough to get away from the ghost of James. He missed my first college graduation because it fell on the day of James Death." He huffed looking angrily at the wall. "I guess I can be thankful I was born in October which is nowhere close to April."

"Spencer he isn't doing it to hurt you. Hell he talks about you all the time."

"It's just him. it' s fine I've learned to deal with it. We should get down stairs before they notice we're missing." With that the conversation was closed and the men went back down stairs.

Aaron was brought out of his thoughts as the plane landed.

The day was frusterating they thought they had leads and they didn't and they felt like they were chasing their tails. Finally Aaron called a halt to everything. "Okay let's call it a night. "We're all going out to dinner to celebrate Reid's birthday and then we're going to get some sleep." Everyone nodded as they packed up their things.

"You really don't have to do this." Spencer said as he and Aaron walked towards the car.

"Oh you know what I said Haley would have my head if we didn't so we are. No if's and or buts."

Dinner was a nice affair and soon they found themselves back at the hotel. "Thank you Aaron." Spencer said before heading into his room. Aaron just nodded.

They finished up the case before the weekend and headed home. He called Haley before they got on the plane.

"Aaron are you on your way home should I start dinner?"

"Yes we'll be home before dinner."

"Good and don't forget to bring Spencer home with you."

"I wouldn't dare." Aaron laughed.

When they got back to Quantico Aaron steered Spencer towards his car. "What?" Spencer asked.

"You remember what I said Haley is making dinner for us and If I come home without you well my head will be on a stick."

"Fine." Spencer sighed. "Haley's a good cook."

"Why do you think I married her." Aaron winked and Spencer kept his lips pressed firmly together so he didn't tell the older man exactly why he'd married Haley.

They got to the Hotchner house and walked through the door. "you're home." Haley said walking up to them and kissing Aaron as she turned to hug Spencer. "Happy Belated birthday Spence."

"Thank you Haley but you didn't have to do this."

"Of course I did you're family and baby Hotchner here loves to hear your voice he's just kicking away." She grabbed his hand putting it on her belly. "See."

Spencer's eyes widened as he felt the kicks against his hand. "that's amazing." He breathed.

Haley just laughed leading them into the dinning room where she'd laid out more food then Spencer could ever remember seeing. They spend the night feasting and talking the way old friends do and Haley insisted that Spencer stay the night in the guest room.

That weekend as promised Spencer met with his mother for dinner. "Oh Baby boy it's so good to see you." Caroline Rosssi cooed kissing his cheek.

"Mom nice to see you." He said settling down across the table from her.

"Happy belated birthday baby." She passed him a package and he opened it finding a rare book he'd been wanting. Many things could be said about Caroline Rossi as a woman, wife and mother but in the end it could never be said that she didn't try.

A/N thanks for all the response on the story. Don't forget the poll.


	6. Chapter 6

I don't own criminal minds.

Spencer was in the bull pen going through consults when his phone rang. He looked down surprised to see Hotch on the caller Id. He got up and walked into the hall not sure what this call would bring and not wanting prying ears.

"Hotch what's up? I thought you were at an appointment with Haley."

"I… Spencer they put her on bedrest and I don't know what to do. They are worried about pre-eclampsia and her blood sugar and going into pre-term labor. There are still six weeks before her due date."

Spencer looked towards his desk. "Okay Aaron listen to me. Take a deep breath. Go make sure Haley is okay she can't see you falling apart. I'll be there as soon as I can breath I mean it Aaron Breath." He hung up not waiting for the other man's response. He walked back to his desk shoving his phone into his pants pocket. He gathered his files and went up the stairs ignoring the stares that Elle and Morgan were giving him. He didn't even bother to knock on Gideon's door he just shoved it open.

"Spencer can I help you?" Gideon raised his eye brows and looked at the younger man. Spencer turned and shut the door with a resounding click before turning back to the man he'd known all his life. he put the files down on the desk ready for a show down in need be.

"Aaron just called me. They put Haley on bed rest they're worried about a bunch of things anyway I'm giving you these files they are mostly done and I'll finish them tomorrow. I'm going to stop by JJ's Office and get a few cold case consults and then I'm leaving. Aaron and Haley need me more then this does." He waved his hands at the files.

"Okay." Gideon saw that determined Rossi glint in Spencer's eyes and knew not to question or fight it. "We'll see you tomorrow." Spencer just nodded spinning around and exiting the office. Gideon just shook his head and sat down. He feared Spencer Rossi would prove to be even more stubborn then his father.

Spencer made his way down the stairs and gathered his things. "Hey Pretty boy were you going?" Derek called behind him but he ignored him walking towards JJ"s office. He rapped sharply on the door.

"Come in." her voice wafted through the wood. He pushed the door open and looked in at her. "Hey Jayje I have to go do you have any cold case consults I can take with me."

"Uh…." JJ looked up at Spencer she noticed an odd air about him. she shook her head. "Yeah sure." She pushed back from the desk and turned to a pile of folders quickly sorting through them. "Here." She handed him five which he shoved into his bag.. "Thanks see you tomorrow." With that he was gone as if he was never there leaving a very confused JJ in his wake.

He exited Quantico happy that he'd actually drove to work that day because if he had to take a bus he didn't know how it would work. He got into his car and throwing his bag in the back he made one stop after another. First the grocery store then a take out place he knew that Haley loved. As he drove towards the Hotchner house he made one phone call.

"Jessica Brooks how may I help you."

"Hey Jessica it's Spencer Reid I work with Aaron I'm not sure if you remember me."

"Of course I remember you Spencer, how can I help you?" Jessica lauged.

"I'm not sure if you've talked to Haley or Aaron today?" he waited to hear what Jessica would say.

"Yes I have." Jessica sobered.

"Well I'm heading over there now to do a few things make Haley and Aaron's life a little easier. Make meals that can be frozen and just heated up. I also set up a lunch order for Haley every day at her favorite place I'll get it whenever we are in town or have Aaron do it but I was hoping you could pick it up when we're out of town. It's a standing order and if you want to order anything just tell them to charge it to me." Spencer got out hoping that Jessica wouldn't feel like he was stepping on any toes.

"Oh Spencer that's so sweet. " Jessica breathed. "Of course I'll do that. And Spencer thank you for caring so much."

"Of course I care she's Haley she's my friend my family I'd do anything for her and Aaron."

"Again thank you Spencer." Jessica wiped a stray tear from her cheek. "Just Text me when you'll be out of town and I'll make sure she gets her food."

"Thanks Jessica." Spencer said before disconnecting the call. He pulled into the Hotchner drive way grabbing the grocaries and his bag he headed towards the door. He balanced the bags as he opened the door. "Aaron." He called out. Soon Hotch rounded the corner.

"Spencer what is all this?" he quckily took the bag from Spencer who put his own bag on a side table. Taking the bag back from Aaron.

"That is a bag of groceries that I'm going to make into meals that you can pop into the oven when you get home no need to cook. No need for Haley to stress." He started to walk towards the kitchen Aaron following him. "I also have a standing order at Loran's for lunch for her. either you or I can go get it on our breaks and bring it to her. If we're on a case Jessica has agreed to pick it up." Spencer was fimilar with the Hotchner kitchen and quickly spun around getting everything he needed. Aaron watched in fascination.

"You don't have to do this?"

Spencer just looked up from cutting up vegetables. "Of course I do this is what family does. I mean sure me and my dad don't have the best relationship and my mom is lovely but in her own world most of the time but If something ever happened to me they'd drop everything and get there. Hell if I called my dad right now he'd probably come or at the least give me his credit card info to get you and Haley anything you need." He laughed turning back to his task.

Aaron shook his head at his friend. Spencer had his quirks things people didn't wouldn't or couldn't understand about him. Aaron just wished they all saw they man he saw. The man who would drop everything for almost anyone.

"Aaron go upstairs sit with Haley get her calm. Or if you really can't stand being in the house and you feel like it will just upset Haley then here." He fished out his wallet and handed Aaron his credit card go and get Haley some books. Or you know what better yet wait here." He left Aaron standing in the kitchen holding a credit card surrounded by half finished dinners. Spencer grabbed the food he'd picked up for Haley and a pad of paper and pen and headed up the stairs. "Hey Haley May I brought food." Spencer smiled at his pregnant friend.

"Spence what are you doing here?" Haley beamed at him. "Aaron called you didn't he."

"Of course." Spencer rolled his eyes. I come baring food and also I'd like to know what books you'd like to read because that husband of yours in in the kitchen bothering me well I'm trying to cook and I'm going to send him to get some. Get him out of my hair." Spencer winked.

Haley laughed. "Oh I love you." She took the offered food and settled against the pillows. Telling Spencer the list of books she'd like. He pattered her hand as he stood up. "A bunch of books on order. Now you rest. You aren't finished cooking that baby boy yet." He smirked getting another laugh from Haley.

Spencer went down the stairs and into the kitchen handing Hotch the list. "Now out get out." He shooed him out of the house and kitchen.

"Bossy." He heard Hotch mutter.

"It's a Rossi trait." Spencer stuck out his tongue. He then went back to making the dinners. He got three weeks worth done before saying good bye to Haley and Aaron and heading home to bury himself in cold case files.

He fell asleep over those files waking up to grainy eyes from not taking out his contacts. He stretched trying to get the kinks out of his back and gathered clothes trying to hurry into the shower noting the hour. He hurried through his shower and gathered the file two ready to be sent back to their respective precincts. When he got to work he dropped those two off with JJ with a wave.

He saw a pinched look on Aaron's face. "We have a case young woman kidnapped."

"Okay." Spencer put his stuff down and quickly texted Jessica who texted back that she had Haley. As Spencer walked into the room and past Aaron he whispered. "Jess is on Haley watch don't worry." Aaron just looked at him he didn't say anything but he didn't have to. Spencer understood.

The case was going in circles, and then they got the break they needed but at the cost of them all. Spencer saw Aaron flinch as the unsub called him out. He wanted to hurt this unsub so much for the look he'd put on Aaron's face but he held his words in.

As they got home after the grueling case and flight. Spencer walked up to Aaron. "Hey mind giving me a ride home?"

"No that's fine." Spencer could hear the exhaustion in Aaron's voice.

They got into the car and as soon as they pulled out of the parking lot Spencer turned towards him. "You're a good husband I want you to remember that. You're doing your job but Haley is taken care of.

"Yeah because you set it up."

"Well yes I did but you know what that's because I care. so if anything you can say you have good taste in friends." Spencer chuckled trying to lighten the mood. "Hotch you are a good husband I know I watch you I see you're worry. You are a good husband and will be a good father." He let those words sink in and the rest of the ride was silent. Two men a cross road head. Fatherhood.

A/N thanks for the response I meant to have this up awhile ago but I may have gotten lost down the rabbit hole of CM fanfiction.


	7. Chapter 7

I don't own Criminal Minds.

"Where does Pretty boy keep going every day at lunch, think he as a hot date?"

"He's oh I don't know getting his lunch." Elle rolled her eyes.

"He's never done it before just this last week." Morgan pointed out.

"Oh no alert the FBI oh wait…" Elle smirked.

"You didn't hear it from me but he's taking food to Haley." Gideon said walking past the desk.

"Haley as in Hotch's wife Haley?" Morgan scrunched up his nose.

"Yeah." Gideon filled his coffee cup.

"Why?"

"You know she's on bedrest so he's doing what he can." Gideon shrugged.

"This is one of those Reid and Hotch things we'll never understand isn't it." Morgan sighed causing Gideon to just smile.

Spencer made his way into the Hotchner house, the take out bag firmly in his hand. He climbed up the stairs and knocked on the door. "Come in." He heard Haley's voice.

"I come bringing food." He sat down on the bed handing her the bag.

"You my dear are a life saver." She leaned over and gave him a kiss on the cheek causing him to blush.

"Well today I actually do have an alternative motive. You see I need to practice for my gun recertification and I was hoping I could borrow you're husband for a few hours tonight to practice."

"Of course you can." Haley bit into her sandwich. "Keeps him out of my hair that's for sure."

"Thanks Haley May." He kissed her cheek. "I better get back to work. See you tomorrow." She blew him a kiss causing him to chuckle as he walked out the door. He made his way back to Quantico after stopping at the restrunat again and picking up a few more meals. He made his way up to Aaron's office knocking on the door and pushing it open at Aaron's permission. "I come baring a bribe." He said placing the food down.

"Oh and what am I being bribed for?"

"I need help with the my qualification and Haley said it's okay if I kidnap you tonight so what say you Hotch, you me and a gun range."

Aaron laughed thinking about the first time he'd been to a gun range with Spencer. 20 and in the FBI academy. Okay so they'd had to get him a waver that time. he shook his head. "Sure thing, I'll meet you there after work. And Spence thank you." He nodded towards the food but they both knew he meant about so much more.

Spencer could feel Derek watching him but the older man didn't say anything and he just shrugged it away finishing up his work he put everything away and hurried to the gun range meeting Hotch there. It didn't matter though how much he'd practiced or how much Hotch gave him directions he just couldn't hack it.

"I'm going to lose my gun." Spencer moaned.

"No you're not and even if you don't pass well you can retest in two weeks." Hotch said putting his gun away.

"Yeah you're right." Spencer sighed. "Thank Haley for letting me borrow you."

"I think she'll probably thank you for kidnapping me gives her peace and quite she says." Aaron chuckled.

"Ha that's what she said to me too."

"Hilarious." Aaron grumbled.

The next day much as he figured Spencer failed his requalification and wanted to punch Derek when he gave him a whistle but he didn't have time they had an LDSK to catch and they were off.

The case was long it was harrowing and Spencer had to remind himself to call Jessica so that Haley would get her food not that he didn't trust Jessica to do it but still.

How they ended up there in that locked ER with the killer and their only chance out being Spencer and Aaron having to kick him well Spencer just wasn't sure. He grasped at the weapon on Aaron's leg and as the unsub pointed the gun he took the shot. He stared in surprise as it hit it's target. He was shaking he couldn't move. He wasn't sure how he'd ended up outside sitting on the back of an ambulance. He was in too much of a daze.

"You okay?" Aaron asked walking up to him. the chilly air blowing around them.

"I'm fine Hotch." Spencer said.

"I'm sorry I hope I didn't hurt you?"

"Hotch." Spencer sighed. "I was a twelve year old genius in an all boys boarding school. Noting you've done isn't something that hasn't happened before. At least this was for a good reason." He shrugged.

Aaron tried to tamper down the rage that boiled inside him. he hated when Reid talked about his horrid childhood. It was moments like this that he wanted to call Dave and yell at him for not paying more attention.

"You should call your dad." He whispered as Spencer pulled the gun from his pocket and went to hand it back to him. "No you keep that, as far as I'm concerned you passed." He wanted to say more but Derek was coming over. "Thank you." He whispered squeezing Spencer's shoulder.

"Good Shot Pretty boy."

"Yeah don't think I'll be needing this." Spencer tossed the whistle at Morgan who watched him walk away wide eyed.

"Touché." He muttered.

They had landed and headed towards their cars when Hotch's phone rang. Spencer was the only one paying attention he noticed Hotch's face get pale. "I'll be right there." He said shutting his phone.

"Aaron is everything okay?"

"Haley's in labor, Jess is taking her to the hospital."

"Well tat was good timing." Spence joked trying to bring some color back to Aaron's face. "Come on hand over the keys. You're about to be a father and if you think I'm missing this you're crazy. Also you can't drive."

Aaron numbly dug into his pocket taking out his keys and handing them to Spencer. Spencer navigated Aaron into the passenger seat and they were off to the hospital. Of to welcome the newest Hotchner into the world.

A/N hope you enjoy next up Jack, oh and a phone call to Rossi. Also if you haven't yet check out my Alphabet series for Reid and Hotch.


	8. Chapter 8

I don't own Criminal minds.

"Hotch Breath." Spencer said looking over at the other man as they drove towards the hospital.

"Breath, I'm going to be a father." Aaron all but yelled which caused Spencer to almost crack up laughing. He bit his lip and looked ahead at the road suppressing the laughter that he knew Aaron wouldn't appreciate. He took a deep breath through his nose and exhaled trying to tamper down the laugh. He swallowed putting his face into a serious mask before turning back to Aaron.

"You're just figuring that out. You've had eight and a half months to come to that realization." At that he lost his fight and laughed.

"It's not funny." Aaron grumbled glaring at his best friend.

"Oh sure it is. Big bad Aaron Hotchner scared of an itty bitty baby."

"You know you're not to good with kids yourself." Aaron pointed out. "isn't that why we call it the Reid Affect."

"Yeah we really should rename that. I told my dad once and he threw a fit."

"If we renamed it that would let everyone know who you really were."

"You really think they don't know. Come on Hotch we work with Garcia."

"You're probably right but I kind of find it funny to see them trying to figure everything out."

Spencer just shook his head pulling into the hospital. "Okay Aaron lets go before your son decides to make an entrance without you."

"He wouldn't dare, Hotchner men are very patient." Aaron sounded scandalized at the very idea that it was possible he could miss his son's birth that Spencer doubled over laughing.

"I just.. Okay lets get you in there." He shook his head. "Man I wish I had a camcorder so I could show Haley some of the things you're saying." Aaron just huffed at him. "Yes Very mature Aaron." Spencer shook his head. They walked to the information desk.

"Yes I am wondering what floor labor and delivery is?" He asked the nurse.

"Floor six." She told him.

"Thank you." He grabbed Aaron. "Lets go floor six." He steered Aaron onto the elevator and hit the correct button. The elevator opened to the correct floor and Spencer again steered Aaron towards the nurses station

"Haley Hotchner's room?" he asked. But just then Jessica came rushing up to them.

"Oh thank god, she is throwing ice chips." Jessica said in exasperation. Grabbing Aaron.

"At who?" Spencer questioned following down the hall.

"Anyone that walks into the room. She said the next person who walks in is Aaron. She even threw one at my dad. Hit him right in the forehead. Okay that one was kind of funny. Now he's hiding in the waiting room. She pointed to the little cluster of chairs.

"I'll just wait here." Spencer said.

"Chicken." Jessica hissed at him.

"Yes, yes I am." He sat down next to Mr. Brooks "Roy," He nodded.

"Oh hi you're Aaron's friend from work right Spencer."

"Yes sir, good to see you again."

"Ah yes well someone had to get Aaron here I don't think he would have made it if he had to drive himself."

"Very likely." The older man nodded going back to the newspaper he was reading.

Spencer decided now would be a good time to step away and make a phone call. He went to a far corner and dialed a familiar number.

"David Rossi."

"Hey Dad."

"Oh Spencer what's up Son?"

"I was just calling to let you know that Haley had went into Labor. Aaron will be a father before he realizes it." Spencer chuckled at his own joke.

"Well tell them congratulations for me. I'll be sure to send the new father some cigars. The not sure what to get the new mom."

"A nanny." Spencer joked.

"Maybe a little expensive." Spencer snorted at that.

"You spent two thousand on a bottle of wine last year."

"Yes I did." Rossi agreed.

"Look I'm sure Haley would appreciate anything you send." Sometimes talking to his father exhausted him.

Right, right." Dave agreed.

"You're writing again aren't you?" Spencer queried.

"Yes how can you tell?"

"you sound distracted."

"Oh well.."

"It's fine get back to it I just though you'd want to know."

"Oh I did again tell them congratulations for me."

"Yes okay dad." He sighed again. "Goodbye.

"Bye Spencer." With that the call was disconnected. Looking over at Roy who seemed immersed in his newspaper still he decided to visit the gift shop. He wondered around the tiny shop finally picking up a tiny blue bunny and then finding his way to coffee. Pouring as much sugar as he could into the cup he took a sip of the hot brew.

"Ah." He sighed. "Sweet Caffeine." It felt like forever since he had his last cup. He made his way back towards Haley's room wondering what her progress was. He sat down on the hard chairs again. he wasn't going to chance getting close to that door. Three hours later Jessica came out looking disheveled.

"How is she?" Roy asked his daughter.

"Okay she's 6 centimeters."

Spencer wished he'd brought a book then. Not that it would really hold him over. He pulled the blue bunny out of the bag sitting it on his lap and playing with the floppy little ears. He wasn't sure when but he must have fallen asleep because the next thing he remembered was being shaken awake by Jessica.

He looked around and noticed the little blue bunny on the floor. Then he noticed that Roy was gone. He sat up and stretched picking up the bunny. "Did she have the baby?"

"Yeah," Jessica beamed my parents left already we thought we'd let you sleep but now it's your turn to see him come on Spencer Haley is asking for you." Spencer stood up trembling a little for all the grief he'd given Aaron he himself was nervous to meet this little boy.

He walked into that room. The walls a too bright white and the lights bright against the pre-dawn morning light. He smiled as he looked at the little family. Haley in that bed cradling that tiny bundle. Aaron looking down with such awe and love. Spencer wondered if his own dad looked at him the same way when he was born in his mother's arms.

"Hey guys so does this little guy have a name?"

Haley smiled at him. "Jack..Jack Spencer Hotchner."

"Guys." A lump formed in Spencer's throat. "no that's too much. What about your dad Haley?"

"Yeah no I don't think he wants to be Jack Royce. Do you little one." She looked down at the baby. "So Jack Spencer it is. you're his godfather after all and Jess will be godmother." She beamed at her sister. Jessica was almost bouncing.

"Let me hold him please please."

"Fine here." Haley handed him over. She smiled at her sister and fully turned her attention to Spencer. "Is that for Jack?" she nodded to the bunny."

"Yeah," He held out the fuzzy little toy.

"Thank you." Haley took it and ran her hands over it. Spencer bent down and kissed her cheek. "Congratulations Haley, oh and my dad sends his congratulations too." He walked up to Hotch. He pulled him into a hug. "Congratulation's Aaron." He clapped him on the back. "And thank you it's an honor both the name and making me godfather. "Now," he turned to Jessica. "Hand over the baby."

"Aw." Jessica pouted but passed the baby over. Spencer held him in his arms. So soft so fragil. So adorable.

"Hi Jack I'm your uncle Spencer and you'll never be in need of books when I'm around." Everyone around him laughed at that. Jessica and Spencer stayed around for another hour before bidding the new parents goodbye. They parted at the garage with a wave.

Spencer thought of the tiny baby who shared his name as he drove him.

"Thank you." Aaron whispered to his wife as they were alone once again.

"Aaron." She brushed her hand against his cheek. Besides me and you Jess and Spencer are the two people I'd trust Jack's life to. no need to thank me." She kissed him and looked down at the tiny baby resting in her arms. "Rest well Jack." She brushed her hand down his cheek.

Three weeks later and many trips to see Jack Aaron had Haley bring the baby into see the team. Spencer guarded his face as he watched the tiny bundle. He listened to the girls coo over him.

"If you find baldness and wrinkles attractive." He quipped he saw the tiny smirk playing on Haley's lips. He'd pay for that one later Not as much as he'd pay for calling her Mrs. Hotchner though. Oh she hated being called that. He chuckled softly. They were called into a case and his focus had to go to that but not before he stood in front of Hotch and whispered. "You're doing great." After hearing tell Elle he was terrified.

"I hope" he shook his head. "Thanks." They walked into the room together taking a seat around the table. The case made Spencer want to hurl and he could tell Aaron was having trouble staying focused. Pictures of those children taunting them.

An hour later as he stood in front of that man He knew he was shaking but he couldn't show that as he laid the cards on the table. He knew Hotch had his back and he knew Elle didn't trust him. He wasn't sure what made him stand and talk but he did.

Aaron watched Spencer his gut turning as Spencer went toe to toe with a man who they knew had beat his wife a man who very well could have killed her but he trusted him. he gave a sharp look at Elle for doubting Reid and the female profiler wilted back.

It was over. The unsub had been captured but all of them felt that a tiny piece of them had been taken that couldn't be given back. It always seemed to happen in cases were children were involved.

Hotch Reid and Gideon had left for the day. Leaving Elle, Morgan in the bull pen. "Okay I've got to say I'm a little pissed." Elle said sitting down her pen.

"Why?" Morgan looked up at her.

"Well, during the interrogation Spencer was giving earlier I told Hotch maybe it was to much and he should step in. he told me he was fine and then gave me a hard stare."

"Oh mama."

"Don't call me that I'm not Garcia." Elle snapped.

"Elle." Derek shook his head. "You want to work here right?"

"Yes of course."

"Okay then there are a few unspoken rules. I'll let you in on one right now. But it's never to be spoken again or mentioned to anyone outside of the team got it?"

"yeah."

"When it comes to Reid you do not question Reid's abilities to Hotch in the precence of Reid. You can do it privately. Though really not sure if your results will be much better." He shrugged.

"Why?"

"It's something you'll learn it's a Hotch and Reid thing he's the boss but he's also always has Reid's back. Not anything that would hurt the team or anything but he trust Reid a lot and you're going to have to learn to, to."

"okay." Elle was still perplexed. She had a lot to learn of the inner workings of the team.

Hotch and Spencer stood in the parking garage. "You go home and cuddle that godson of mine." Spencer said.

"You're just scared to come over because you told us Jack was wrinkly and called Haley Mrs. Hotchner.

"Yep and not afraid to admit it." Spencer slipped into his car and waved goodbye. Aaron just shook his head and headed home to his family.


	9. Chapter 9

I don't own Criminal minds

Spencer stood outside the interrogation room. He heard one uttered sentence that made him shiver and his blood run cold.

"And some people grow up to catch them."

He knew Hotch's history not many did. Being friends with Hotch for years though had it's advantages or maybe in this case it was a disadvantage knowing Aaron's deep dark secrets of his past. He stood against the wall waiting as Vincent was brought out he waited for Hotch to exit the room and thought of the one and only time he'd met Aaron's mother.

Cold aloof, distant. All words that could be used to describe Lucy Hotchner. It had been a cold day in January when she'd shown up at Aaron and Haley's. Spencer had been home on break and the mansion had been empty what with his father off to only god knew where and his mother wasn't even in the country so he'd went over to the Hotchner's knowing he'd find acceptance there.

They had been sitting in the living room laughing having fun when a knock came on the door. Aaron had got up to answer it and then just stood there as if frozen. Spencer and Haley had shared a look before Haley had gotten up and made her way to the door.

"Oh." Spencer had heard the soft word fall from her lips. He leaned to the side trying to see around them but couldn't.

"Well aren't you going to invite me in or are you going to make me stand out in the cold?" an unfamiliar voice wafted to his ears.

"Oh of course." Aaron stepped to the side taking Haley with him and revealing a woman dressed to the nines not a hair out of place.

"And you are?" Her chocolate brown eyes bore down onto Spencer. He swallowed and stood up.

"Spencer Rossi Ma'am I'm friends with Aaron and Haley."

"Oh." After that she barely spared him a glance.

"Mother what are you doing here?" At Aaron's words Spencer looked at the woman closer. Yes he could see the resemblance. Though her eyes were darker and her hair a fair blond it was clear she was indeed his mother.

"Well I was in town. A dinner with Judge Laffner and his wife. I thought I'd stop by and see you and Haley before I leave. I'm heading to France."

"Oh well it 's nice to see you mother. Wouldn't want to make you miss your flight." Spencer could tell Aaron was trying to push the woman out the door. Haley was clearly uncomfortable, Spencer could tell by her ridged body.

"Yes right, I really should." She kissed Aaron and then Haley's look. "Mr. Rossi." She spared him a look. She was gone faster than Spencer could blink. Haley had sunk into the couch and Aaron's face had went stone cold.

"So that was my mother." He'd said pouring himself a glass of scotch. Spencer hadn't known what to say. They hadn't discussed her much after that. And he'd never seen her again.

He was bought out of his thoughts by Aaron coming into the hallway. He didn't say anything just looked at him. he gave a small smile. "You and me are going out for a drink don't worry I'll clear it with Haley." Aaron didn't say anything clearly to lost in his own head still probably back to being a scared little boy but Spencer could clearly see him relax. "Go to your office I'll meet you there." Once again Aaron didn't utter a word but he did head towards his office.

Spencer took his phone and headed to an unused office. Shutting himself in he locked the door and dialed Haley.

"Hey Spence what's up?" Haley answered the phone juggling a crying Jack in her arms.

"Hey Haley may I know this is asking a lot what with Jack but we had a really bad case and I need to take Aaron out for a drink. I promise that I'll watch Jack for you the next weekend we're in town so that you and Aaron can go out I just really think he needs this. "

"Okay." It was all Haley said. She knew Spencer she knew he wouldn't ask if it wasn't important.

"Thanks Hales."

"No need to thank me. But if you really want to you can bring me my favorite bagels next time you come over." She joked.

"You got it." He said before disconnecting the call and heading up to Hotch's office. "Hey Hotch grab your things we're leaving." Derek, Elle and JJ who had been in the bull pen heard him. they watched as the two men walked down the stairs.

"Where are you two headed to." Derek asked.

"Off to drown our sorrows." Hotch said and Derek and JJ nodded their heads.

"That sounds like a good plan I think I'll come to." Elle said and Derek shook his head.

"Elle actually I need your help with something. So come with me." Spencer shot Derek a thankful look before leaving the office with Aaron.

What was that about?" Elle demanded.

"Another rule to know. When Aaron say's he's going to drown his sorrows with Spencer you do not invite yourself. Not cool Elle."

"I hate these god damn stupid unspoken rules." She spat. "I'm leaving."

"Oh they aren't so bad you just have to get used to them. believe me you want Spencer to go with Aaron if they don't tomorrow will be hell for you. Aaron will be in a horrible mood. I don't know why. Clearly Spencer does and can stop it before it happens we know from experience.

"What ever." Elle muttered.

"Is she going to cause problems?" JJ asked

"I hope not." Derek said.

In a bar across town Aaron and Spencer sat in booth beers in front of them. no words spoken between them. Spencer spun the bottle between his hands. He would let Aaron speak if he wanted to.

"Thanks." The older man said. Spencer looked up at him.

"Thanks for being here. For doing this you didn't have to."

"I did you're my best friend I can tell you're hurting and you don't want to take that home to Haley and Jack."

Aaron swallowed. "I love Jack, I do but I look at him and I think of my own child hood and I wonder. Will I be a better father then my own was?

"Aaron, you already are. You are by just asking yourself that question. You would never hurt Jack I know you. You took your bad child hood and you turned it into something good. You will do the same thing with fatherhood. You'll take all those bad experiences and it will make you a better father because you won't be your own father. You know what not to do. You love that little boy with all your heart. I have faith in you. I know Haley has faith in you too."

"Thanks." Aaron took a swig of his beer as they sat in silence once again. two men both with childhoods no one would want understanding in a way no one else could.

A/N so now I know I'm going to have to write Spencer baby sitting LOL oh my that might get interesting.


	10. Chapter 10

I don't own Criminal minds.

Spencer let himself into the Hotchner house. "Hello anyone home?" He called coming into the foyer.

"Spencer good to see you." Haley rushed down the stairs kissing his cheek.

"Haley May you look amazing." He smirked. "Now twirl."

She giggled twirling around in a circle. "Not hitting on my wife now are you Spencer." Aaron came into the room holding Jack.

"No," Spencer stuck his tongue out at Aaron causing Haley to giggle. "Now give my godson and get out of here."

"Oh I see he just wants to get his hands on the baby." Aaron chuckled handing over Jack.

"We'll be back by eleven there is enough formula and diapers."

"Haley honey Spencer knows this house and Jack's routines almost as well as we do I promise he'll be okay." Aaron stopped his wife knowing she'd go on a baby care tangent.

"Oh I know, I know I just have never left him this long. She wrung her hands and then kissed his forehead. 'Okay, okay " said seeing the look on Aaron's face.

"Say bye to mommy and Daddy." Spencer lifted the babies little hand and waved to the two retreating adults. "Okay Jackers we have the house all to ourselves no parental's what should we do?"

Jack yawned and snuggled into Spencer's arms. "A nap it is then." Spencer settled on the couch with the sleeping baby flipping through the channels. He must have fallen asleep because the next thing he knew he was hearing a whimpering Jack and his eyes flew open.

"Hey Buddy what's wrong." He felt the baby and grimaced diaper issues huh. Well lets get you all fixed up." He picked up the baby and carried him upstairs. Grabbing the diapers and wipes he started o his task.

That's when it happened. Not paying close enough attention and Jack peed on him. "Ugg." Spencer jumped back. His shirt soaked. He shook his head. "Thanks for that kiddo." He quickly changed him and then carried him down stairs. "You little boy are lucky that I always carry extra clothes around with me. " He swore the baby was laughing at him as he juggled the baby into a coat and shoes and raced outside to get his go bag. After coming back inside and outerwear off Jack and settling him down on his play mat he stripped his soaked shirt off and riffled through his bag finding a change.

He threw his shirt in the washer and got the now fussing baby a bottle. He held jack and looked down into his eyes. "Now please don't throw up on me." He pleaded.

Jack settled down into a nap after his bottle. Spencer threw his shirt into the dryer and then he made himself a sandwich. Another bottle and change this one without any trouble thankfully and Spencer was crashed out on the couch when Haley and Hotch came through the door.

"Hey Spencer." Haley took the sleeping baby from his arms.

Aaron looked around raising his eye brows at Spencer's go bag. "Huh." Spencer opened his eyes. "Oh hey." He stretched."

"Something happen?" Aaron gestured to the bag. "I see you have a different shirt."

"Yeah your son peed on me. I'll just grab my shirt from the dryer and be out of your hair."

Haley was trying to stifle her giggles behind her hand well Aaron smirked. Spencer came out with a clean shirt and rolled his eyes at the two amused adults.

"Yes it was hilarious."

Aaron bit his lip to make sure the laughter didn't spill out. "Thank you for watching him." Haley said as Spencer put his shirt away and zipped up his bag.

"It was no problem. I did promise and he's my god son and I love him even if he did pee on me." He reached over and stroked the sleeping babies cheek.

"I'll see you at work tomorrow." Hotch said. "Elle won't be there she's doing an interview in Texas so I doubt we'll be sent anywhere." Spencer nodded hefting the bag on his shoulder.

"Okay I'll see you then." He left and Aaron and Haley fell into a fit of giggles.

Aaron had figured the next day would be easy. Some paper work maybe a few consults a teasing word to Spencer but then it all went to Hell and they were traveling to Texas and Elle was a hostage on a train.

They were at a standstill. They knew they had to make a move but no one was sure what that move would be.

"Let me go in, I can do a sight of hand. Make him think we took it out." Hotch turned to Spencer "No, no way. You're not going in there."

"I did this all the time during mid terms I can do it."

Morgan jumped up. "Let me do it show me how."

"In half an hour I don't think so I've been doing this my whole life. Let me in there." Spencer's voice hardened as he looked around the room.

"We're sending him in." Gideon decided and Hotch did everything he could not to slump. He stood strong, as he nodded his head and left to start coordinating the efforts. He left Morgan with Spencer giving the other man a look a look that said make sure he gets out of there safe. Morgan gave a jerky nod watching Hotch leave and knowing his ass would be dead if something happened.

"Do not take this off." He said strapping Spencer into the vest. He gave him a few more pointers and took a deep breath. "Just be safe." Morgan swallowed there was more he wanted to say but he just rested his hand on Spencer's shoulder.

They stood there as he got ready to go in. Aaron's eyes trained on wanted to grab him shake him tell him not to go in there. He wanted to shout yes when Gideon was going to pull Reid but he saw the determination on Spencer's face. Spencer turned and then turned back.

"Do me a favor. Can one of you actually believe that I'm going to make it out of there alive." Aaron swallowed. He stepped forward and the other's stepped back. "Reid you'll make It out. We all know it we all believe it." His hand clasped on his shoulder and if it lingered longer than normal well neither Gideon or Morgan were going to say anything.

Taking a deep breath Spencer walked towards the train and Aaron watched him and he prayed that he was right because he knew he wouldn't be the same if something happened to Spencer.

He went to the man in charge of Swat and he did something he wouldn't have done if it was anyone else and he knew it. He demanded they took a shot any shot if things went bad and he ignored Gideon's look and Morgan's approval and he watched the train as Spencer climbed into it.

Spencer knew it was a difficult task he'd presented himself but he'd do it. He'd prove to them all that he was instrumental the team. That he could pull his weight.

He took the vest off he knew Morgan would wring his neck but right now it was the right thing to do. He sat across from the man and he took a deep breath. Trying to steady his nerves trying to make sure himself and everyone else on the train got off safely

Aaron was silently cursing as they watched Spencer take off his vest. He would be having a serious talking with him about that later. He tried to steal his nerves as he watched Spencer work.

He'd gotten the chip out but now he was stuck. Aaron watched him he wanted to tell the people to shoot but he knew he couldn't. that would harm all he hostages. He pulled himself farther into Hotch mode and buried Aaron deep inside.

Spencer was on the train. He was trying to calm the man down. Then it all went to hell shots fired a woman down. He tried to help her. help them all and he watched the man talking, talking to someone named Leo and he knew what he had to do. He knew those symptoms had known them all his life from his aunt. He went to the man he had to try he was there last hope. This was what would save them or at least he hoped so.

Aaron watched. He watched and he wondered what he was saying.

Spencer was mixing what he knew about his aunt. And the things he'd felt his whole life being a genius. Being someone different. He kept talking, talking keeping the man from making a grave mistake.

Outside Aaron watched as Gideon went towards the train.

Inside Elle an Spencer struggled with the hostage taker for the gun.

The shot went off the whole world froze.

It was over. Both Spencer and Aaron felt like they could finally take a deep breath as Spencer and Elle walked off that train. Spencer sat by Elle he tried to decompress well at the same time tyring to not laugh or Cringe when Elle called Gideon dad.

Heck Gideon didn't even like it to much when Stephan called him dad.

"How do you think he'd feel about mom?"

"Yeah let me know when you're going to do that so I can run." Spencer smirked.

He looked over at Aaron who nodded. He could read it in his eyes he was glad he was okay and yes they'd be having a conversation later.

That night as they landed back home. Aaron stepped off the plane and he looked at Spencer. "You're coming home with me no if's and's or but's about it."

"Fine." Spencer was to drained to say anything else and Aaron wanted to say so much to the other man but he didn't he was glad he was alive. Alive and standing beside him.

"You did good today Spencer."

"Yeah, hey can we not show that tape to my dad."

"can't make any promises." Aaron laughed.

Yes they'd be okay.


	11. Chapter 11

I don't own criminal minds.

Aaron and Spencer pulled into the Hotchner driveway. Aaron knew he was shaking slightly the scene of Spencer on that train still running through his head. They both got out of the car and headed into the house.

"Hey babe." Aaron said scooping Jack out of Haley's arms as she came around the corner.

"Hey." She gave him a kiss. "How was the case?"

"I'd rather not talk about it." Aaron felt a slight shiver run down his spine. Spencer saw it and gave a slight flush. Haley looked between them.

"Okay you two what happened?

"It's a long story and one I don't really want to relive right now but lets just say that Spencer is staying the night."

"Okay." Haley looked between the two men again. She was determined to get the truth out of Aaron that night in bed. "Well you two must be starving let me order you some food."

"No it's fine I'll just make a sandwich and go to bed I'm exhausted." Spencer yawned

"Every things in the kitchen help yourself." Haley said. "What about you?" she turned to Aaron.

"I'm not hungry I think I'll just turn in." He snuggled Jack closer to him kissing his forehead

"Okay here let me take Jack." She took the sleeping baby from her husband heading towards the nursery. "Spencer I'll make up the guest room for you."

"Thanks Haley May." Spencer said before heading to the kitchen to make the sandwich.

Aaron made his way up to his bedroom changing for bed he crawled under the covers. Haley came in a few moments later. She crawled in beside Aaron and turned to him "Okay Aaron tell me what happened on that case.

"It was a hostage situation on a train. Spencer went in and it was very tense if he'd make it out."

"Oh babe." Haley curled closer to him and kissed his cheek. "He's okay he's right down the hall. He did his job and he came home. That's all you can ask. That's all I ask every time you go out of the house to your job. You all came home so I am going to count my blessings."

"Yeah, I understand that." Aaron sighed and he did but he couldn't help the images that flashed through is mind. He knew it would be a restless night.

A week later Aaron was finally feeling in balance of the situation. He knew he couldn't break down every time Spencer was put into a dangerous situation. Spencer was going to be in dangerous situations it was part of the job, and he couldn't stop Spencer from doing his job. Just like he knew Spencer couldn't stop him from doing his job.

He thought of what Haley had told him. Be thankful they all came home. That's all he could do and he felt a ping of guilt that He put Haley though that every time he walked out of the house.

Meanwhile as Aaron was dealing with his own internal demons, Spencer had his own screaming in his head. He stood at the counter staring down into his coffee cup.

"Reid are you okay?" Derek asked,

Spencer shook his head and looked up at him. "Late night." He smiled tightly.

"My man." Derek smirked.

"Not that type of night." Spencer sighed.

"So what keeps up young Dr Reid?"

"Its nothing" he shook his head he could tell Derek he knew he could tell Derek but he wouldn't. this was privet personal. If he told anyone it would be Aaron but he couldn't even tell Aaron he needed to figure this out on his own. He already felt like the baby of the team the one everyone felt they had to protect he needed to show he could stand on his own two feet.

"okay you know where I am if you want to talk." Derek started to walk away just as Elle came to tell them they had a new case.

Soon they were on their way to a case of two bodies and a possible connection to satanic cult. As Reid sat on the plane he felt his eyes start to drop. He wanted to sleep he wanted his mind to be clear but he knew now wasn't the time and the plane wasn't' the place.

"Are you okay?" Aaron sat down across from him, he'd moved after explaining to Elle the history of the satanic panic.

"I'm fine." He tried to sound assuring but he knew he couldn't fool Aaron just as Aaron couldn't fool him so he wasn't sure why he was trying.

"You're not fine, I know you're not fine, you know you're not fine."

Spencer shook his head. "Not here." He whispered. His eyes drifting to the rest of the team. They weren't looking at the two men but Spencer knew them and he knew they were listening.

It had felt like forever but finally the case was wrapped and Spencer slumped back into his seat on the plane. He felt Aaron's eyes on him. He almost turned to look at him but before he could Aaron had slipped into the seat beside him.

"Everyone else is asleep talk to me Spencer." Aaron whispered. Spencer thought of what he could say, should say. He sighed, he paused. "I've been having nightmares okay, that's my secret. I haven't been sleeping. I'm running on caffeine my nerves are shot. He gritted his teeth. "I feel like a failure."

"Why?"

"Why?" Spencer scuffed. "You saw the way that Sherriff looked at me questioned me. It's how everyone looks at me like I'm half crazy. Even my parents didn't know what to do with me half the time. I'm the youngest. None of you deal with this you're stronger you all know that which is why you hold me back at the stations. Why you try to protect me, I'm useless. Look at how the train almost ended up. Look at the way tonight almost ended up."

"You are not useless," Aaron hissed. "You're a big part of this team. "I'll let you in on a little secret. We all have nightmares. "Yes even me. Hell you know that Spencer. You know that better than anyone. We all have our issues but this team couldn't run without you." He swallowed and he looked at Spencer. " I couldn't run without you. Maybe I hold you back more than the others but that is your specialty. You are good with geographical profiles. You're good with putting the pieces together. Hell sometimes I think you're the strongest of all of us."

Aaron finally felt like he could breath after making that impassioned speech. He looked over at Spencer only then noticing that the younger man had fallen into a deep slumber.

"Oh Spencer." He sighed shaking his head and getting up he went and found a spare blanket covering him with it. He watched as he slept in what Aaron figured might have been the first good night's rest in awhile. "Spencer I wish you saw yourself the way I did." He whispered stopping the urge to brush the hair from his forehead.

He didn't notice one pair of eyes watching him. He couldn't see the gears turning in the head of one Jason Gideon.


	12. Chapter 12

I don't own Criminal minds.

Jason Gideon had been considering what he had seen on the plane after their last case. He knew that Hotch and Spencer were close. He knew their backstory or so he thought until he saw that look in Aaron's eyes when he thought no one else was looking as Spencer slept peacefully for what might have been the first time in days. Gideon filed it all away for later because they had a new killer to catch and his friends personal lives couldn't be at the front of his mind. It didn't help that he was going to be left behind because of his stupid bucket list and hurting his ankle.

He couldn't help it though he watched Aaron and he watched Spencer as they talked about the new case and Spencer talked about the blood rings at the crime scene. They were not giving anything away though. He shook his head and watched his colleagues go off to the latest crime scene. He thought of Reid again. Or Rossi or Spencer he wasn't sure what to call the boy sometimes.

He remembered when he'd been a child trying to chase after the older Stephen. He'd watched as he'd tried to gain his father's love and cringed. He knew Dave loved Spencer just as he loved Stephan but it was hard with their jobs and when it came to Dave there was an extra level of bad. The bad that came with losing a child. With losing James. He knew Dave shut himself off at moments afraid to lose Spencer the way he had James.

Thinking of the Rossi men's relationship reminded him of the one thing that wasn't checked off on his bucket list. He felt the crinkled paper in his pocket. He needed to call Stephan but would he even want to talk to him. He doubted it. Gideon knew he'd screwed up to much when it came to his son.

As Gideon contemplated the webs of the past the team was trying to catch a killer they felt like they were getting farther and farther away and then Wally Bisban was taken and Hotch's breath caught and he felt like his world had shattered thinking what if it had been Jack and Reid had seen that look in his eyes and wanted to reach out but they had a killer to find, a crime scene to go over and a little boy to bring home safe. Not to mention Morgan and Elle were watching them.

He cringed inwardly as Hotch snapped at Elle "persuade her" Reid gave Morgan a look. A look that said don't follow us as he and Hotch went to examine the body. As they were getting ready to meet the rest of the team so they could connect to Garcia Spencer stopped him. "Aaron."

"What?" Aaron looked up at him and Spencer could see the haunted look in his eyes.

"This isn't Jack, and you need to calm down. Snapping at Elle was uncalled for." Spencer got a steely look in his eyes daring Aaron to contradict him.

Aaron just took a deep breath and nodded. They were soon with Elle and Morgan discussing the case with Garcia. As soon as they disconnected from Garcia a call came in unknown container at victim twos house. Hotch went to stand up and looked over at Spencer. "Reid you are with me. Morgan stay back here with JJ and Elle I will call you if we need anything. Morgan just nodded. He could feel the tension in the room.

Aaron and Spencer rode in silence to the Stewart house. Spencer wanted to say something anything. A part of him wanted to reach out and take Aaron's hand but he stopped that impulse just as he had many times in the past.

"I'm scared of what we are going to find." Hotch admitted.

"I am too. We can just hope it has nothing to do with the Bisbane boy." Spencer sighed as the pulled up in front of the house.

Spencer wanted to throw up just a little at the fact that it was victim two's stomach. He tried to keep his stomach in check as Aaron told the sheriff to place cops at all the churches and then got on the phone to Morgan and Elle to send them out also.

"Hotch we will find Wally." Spencer whispered as he watched the sheriff walk away. Twenty minuets later the phone call came through. The unsub and been caught. Spencer and Hotch rushed to the jail.

After they got consent from Mary Mays Hotch took Spencer aside. "I need to go talk to Garcia. You know the most about mental illness. I need you to keep an eye on everything well Morgan and Elle go and check out the Mays house."

Spencer just nodded. He knew by the time everything had happened Aaron would be back. He could see the tension rolling off Aaron. He watched as the doctor came and just as the needle was put in Eddie's arm Aaron came around the corner giving Spencer a slight nod.

He honestly thought he would have to jump between Aaron and the doctor at one point but breathed a sigh of relief as he and Hotch were let into the cell.

Spencer kept a close eye as Aaron talked to the medicated Eddie Mays. He knew he'd have to jump in at any time.

Just when Spencer didn't think it could get worse it did. Spencer thought Aaron was about to tear Mary to shreds. Spencer looked at Aaron before he stormed out.. he stood back he let Aaron process everything that was happening. He pulled Spencer aside before he and Elle left the precinct.

"Okay you and Morgan stay here. I know how to deal with this woman she's old money I know how they think this isn't about her son this is about her reputation."

The things left unsaid were that Hotch knew these things because of his own child hood. He knew these things and would use it to his advantage. He would tear that woman down one way or another. Spencer watched him go and let out a breath he'd been holding.

"He will be okay you know that right?"

Spencer turned to see Morgan at his side. "He'll be okay if they find that kid. If not well Aaron takes things a lot more personally now that Jack is around."

Spencer didn't seem to realize and Morgan wasn't going to point it out that Spencer had just called Hotch Aaron. He just gave a weak smile and clapped his friend on the shoulder.

Meanwhile in the car. Elle listened to Hotch talking to Mary Mays. Hotch never talked about his family. He hardly talked about Haley and Jack and Elle knew there was something taboo going on between Hotch and Reid that was never mentioned but that was an open secret.

She wondered what secrets the straight laced Aaron Hotchner really held.

Hotch breathed a sigh of realief as Wally Bisbane was found. He stood toe to toe with Mary Mays as he gave the woman the dressing down he'd been waiting to give her the whole night. He turned and walked away the demons of his childhood playing in his head.

That night in the hotel there was a knock on his door. He opened it to find Spencer on the other side. He ushered the other man in and stood back.

"it took a lot of strength to do what you did tonight." Spencer said as the door closed behind them.

"Not really." Aaron said. "if anything I was a coward. I said things to that woman that I only wish I could say to my own mother.

"Well you could say them. There is nothing stopping you Aaron."

"maybe." Aaron sighed sitting on the edge of the bed. "There is no point though. My mother is who she is and we are both better off in our estrangement."

"What about Jack doesn't he need a grandmother?"

"Not the type my mother could be. He has Haley's mom and dad and in a way he has your dad even though he only sends extravagant gifts." Aaron chuckled. "He has you and Jessica and he has Sean. That's all he needs."

Spencer thought of his godson and he shook his head. "Okay Aaron you know I am always here if you need to talk."

"I know that and thank you but how are you?" I mean seeing that had to bring back your own memories."

"Yes it did make me think of my aunt but I know I am doing the best for her. She is in a safe place and I write to her daily. Sure I could visit more but I am not sure that would be best for either of us."

"I understand." Aaron said as he fell back against the bed. "Okay Aaron I am going to go to bed before Morgan starts to question where I am. Spencer stood up. "Oh yeah before I go Gideon's list you do realize what the last thing is right?"

"Yes it has to be about Stephan."

"I was thinking the same thing I will have to talk to him when we get back." With those last words Spencer left and headed towards his own room.

Morgan just looked up but didn't say anything as he came in.

The next day they landed back in Quantico and Hotch had to take Gideon's things from a pissed off Garcia. Hotch went into the office and listened to Gideon knowing what his list would contain. "Don't be Rossi." Was all he said before leaving the room. He shared a looked with Spencer as the other man went into the office.

He didn't even wait for Gideon to say anything just started to talk.

"He wants to talk to you, he loves you. I know that, Hell you know that." Spencer said looking at the older man. Gideon stared at him he was not used to Spencer swearing. He looked down at the paper in his hand. He gave a jerky nod and watched the younger man leave. He sighed and picked up the phone. He would give it a shot.


	13. Chapter 13

I don't own Criminal Minds.

Billie Copland was found safe. The team breathed a sigh of relief as they got on the plane. Back to back child abduction was messing with them all. Spencer could see the strain on Aaron's face. He could see the crack in Gideon's armor. He knew Gideon had a picture of Billie in his bag, to add to his family.

He tried to relax as he played cards with JJ and Derek. He watched Hotch from the corner of his eye. Waiting to see if any cracks would form. He knew it was a long shot. Aaron didn't crack in front of the team but with the cases they had been handed lately Spencer would be extra vigilant.

"How do you always do that?" Morgan whined when Spencer won another hand.

"I don't know I'm a genius." Spencer smirked. He noticed Aaron rolling his eyes in the corner.

"He spent a lot of his childhood in Vegas."

"There is that." Spencer nodded.

"how do.. you know what never mind." Morgan said closing his mouth.

"Hey Aaron." Gideon called out.

"Yeah." Aaron looked behind him at Gideon.

"Did you send that technical analyst girl flowers?

"Yes."

"why?"

"Because sometimes people need to know you apricate them."

"I already sent her an ipod though she's going to think I Like her or something."

Spencer tried not to laugh. "Oh Jason." He giggled "no need to worry about that."

Elle watched the interplay and opened her mouth to say something but Morgan shook his. The plane descended into silence as they traveled the rest of the way home. When they made it to the tarmac Spencer turned to Aaron. "Mind if I come home with you I"d really like to hug that god son of mine."

Only one person heard that and JJ wasn't about to let that little secret slip.

"Of course. Just let me give hales a heads up."

Aaron grabbed his phone and quickly dialed his house phone.

"Hey babe you on your way home?"

"Yeah we just landed Spencer wanted to know if it was okay if he came over and saw Jack. It was a tough case Hales and abducted little girl."

Aaron you don't have to explain of course Spencer can come over he's always welcome you know that. Why don't you pick up some Chinese on the way home."

"Can do. I'll see you in a little bit." He hung up the phone before turning to spencer. "well lets head out we have to pick up some food first then it's off to see jack and Haley." He smiled thinking of his little family.

Spencer got into the passenger seat and as they drove towards the Chinese restraint he wondered about his own father. His parents were split his whole childhood there was no rushing home to a wife and son. There was no bed time hugs or cuddles there was no goodnight kisses. There was shuffling between houses. There was silent nights and lavish parties. There was school work and tears. Yelling and fighting and the ghost of James always the ghost of James.

"What has you so deep in thought?" Spencer jumped at Hotch's voice.

"Oh. Nothing much just thinking of the past."

"Why."

"Just seeing you with Jack makes me think of my own father had his lack in my life."

"He loves you, you know that."

"Yes he loves me but not the way you love Jack." Spencer gave a tight smile as they pulled up to the Chinese place and went inside to get food. Soon they were back on the road and before he knew it they were pulling into the Hotchner driveway.

Haley met them at the door a cooing Jack in her arms. Aaron scooped him up quickly smothering his tiny face in kisses he'd really missed his tiny son. "Guess what Jack I have a surprise for you look who came to visit it's uncle Spencer."

The baby giggled and Spencer scooped him from his father's arms before hugging Haley and placing the food bags down. "Thanks for invite Haley May."

"Any time Spencer you know that." She smiled at the younger man as she started to dish up the food. The baby was passed around from adult to adult as they ate and enjoyed one stress free night. No death or destruction flying through there minds.

After Dinner Spencer said his goodbye giving Jack one last cuddle before Aaron drove him home. "Thanks Aaron I needed tonight."

"Anytime. I can't count the number of times you've been there for me or Haley and I know you will always be there for Jack. That makes me feel secure in his future." With those words Aaron left Spencer at his apartment.

Spencer went inside and did the work for his newest degree. He considered calling his father. He considered calling his mother. He wrote his letter to his aunt to be mailed in the morning and he sat in the dark.

He got out his lap top and he just wrote. He wrote down all the feelings he could never say out loud. He wrote all the hurt and anger and regret and he just let it pour out. He wasn't sure how long he wrote but it was early morning by the time he stopped his eyes felt sandy and tired and saved his work and went to bed not even bothering to change he just crashed.

Hours later he was awoken by his alarm. It was Sunday so no work and he was glad for that. He shut off the alarm and he snuggled back under the blanket and he thought of the words saved on his computer the words of a lost boy trying to find himself even all these years later. He thought of his friendships and where they lead him. He wondered what the next weeks months years would lead him. Finally after what felt like hours of contemplation he got up and made himself some coffee. He smiled when he saw a picture of jack that Aaron had texted him. He shot back a quick good morning text and went to work on a paper he was getting ready to publish. Pushing everything else to the back of his mind and hoping that the next case had nothing to do with children.

"Hey you've seemed broody since last night everything okay?" Haley asked her husband as she came up behind him wrapping her arms around him.

"Yeah just thinking of Spencer he loses himself sometimes like last night and I worry about him. Sometimes I want to shake Dave and show him what a great son he has but Dave is Dave and I don't think there is any changing him." Aaron sighed.

Haley just nodded pouring herself a cup of coffee and thinking of her husband and the young genius. She knew it was more then she really wanted to ever admit to herself but she couldn't bring herself to care or to be upset. She understood. She understood what couldn't be said not yet.


	14. Chapter 14

I don't own Criminal minds.

There was one person in his family that Spencer always knew he could turn to. His grandfather Anthony Rossi. When his parents were too busy. When his parents were grieving. He could always go to him. He was there at every performance every graduation. He raved to all his friends about his genius grandson. He kept all his published papers. Spencer knew he always had him in his corner.

"Hotch I am going to be a little late today I have to go by and pick up my grandpa he has a doctors appointment and they took his license away. I haven't been able to find him any help yet I am sorry."

. "Spencer it's fine you haven't taken any personal time well every being a bit late is fine. But why isn't your father doing this."

Spencer snorted "I don't even know where my father is right now I think California but who knows. I told him or I should say I told his voice mail but I Haven't heard back from him so I don't even know if he got it." Spencer shrugged honestly he was used to it. It was par for the course with his father. Anyway I"ll be in as soon as possible.

"Okay if we get any cases I'll try to hold off leaving as long as possible. " with that the call was ended and Hotch looked over at Haley who was cuddling Jack. "I am going to kill Dave"

"Why?"

"Because Spencer's grandpa needs help and Dave isn't even answering his phone. He kissed Haley and Jack and left for work. When he got out of his car in the car park he dialed Dave's number. No answer he shut it in frustration and stuffed the phone in his pocket

"Hey Grandpa." Spencer came into the house. "Are you ready to go to your appointment."

"As ready as I'll ever be. Anthony Rossi leveed himself out of his chair using his cane. "You shouldn't be taking me you have work."

"It's okay I cleared it with Aaron."

"oh you did, did you." A twinkle came into the elder Rossi's eye.

"Shush you." Spencer said playfully as they made their way to the car. An hour and half later Spencer dropped his grandfather back off at his house. "okay so these are your prescriptions I am going to fill your pill box up for the week remember to take them please."

"Nag, nag, nag. You are worse then your grandma was." Spencer shook his head and laughed.

"Thanks for the compliment. Okay I have to get to work call me if you need anything and I'll be checking in on you.

"You worry to much." Anthony grumbled.

"That's my job." Spencer smiled.

Spencer made his way into the bull pen happy to see that the whole team was still present. "Where have you been pretty boy?" Morgan asked just as Hotch entered the cat walk.

"Had to run some Errands." Spencer evaded.

"We have a new case everyone round table now." Everyone followed Hotch and settled in around the table. As the tape played Spencer cringed it seemed they would not be getting away from the children cases.

As they sat on the plane discussing the motives and the victims Spencer watched Aaron's eyes as they kept going back to the picture of the young boy in the ICU. He knew what he was thinking and it broke his heart. Spencer was thinking the same thing though. What if it had been Jack. Why was it always the kids? 

When they got to the hospital Spencer tried to keep a close eye on him. As they left to follow their newest lead he watched him looking over at the young boy and he wanted to reach out and give him comfort but stopped himself.

An hour later they all met back up at the police station minus Elle who was tracking down a suspect. Spencer looked at Aaron. He stood beside him away from the others. "You okay?"

"I'm fine." Aaron took a deep breath and shook his head. Spencer knew he really wasn't okay but would wait till after the case to question him about it.

They tried to race against the clock knowing another attack was bound to happen. As a leak through the press hit them and JJ and Spencer rushed off to the hospital fearing that very second attack.

JJ watched her friend or maybe acquaintance was a more apt word. Spencer Reid didn't let many people into his life. He seemed to have let Hotch into his life though. She thought of what she'd heard Reid say to Hotch the other night. Jack was his godson. They all knew Hotch and Spencer had a special bond but now JJ was wondering just how far that bond ran. And why? She opened her mouth to question him and then closed it. She wasn't comfortable invading his privacy with that question.

At the hospital they found one person who they were sure was really in danger. Soon Hotch was at the hospital also as they tried to determine what had happened. As the case spiraled more and it was realized the woman had been an accomplice who had been killed by the unsub.

It was seemingly a race against time as they had the unsub but kept hitting wall after wall. Until Spencer got a break in the case and realized it was the envelopes not the candy that was poisoning the people. He rushed towards Hotch and Gideon. He showed them the footage as they tried to figure out what the next move would be.

Finally they saved the people that needed to be saved and they were on their way home. Spencer feel asleep on the plane ride back and Aaron watched him. JJ watched Hotch as she tried to finish her work.

As they deplaned Hotch's phone rang he saw it was Rossi and waved Spencer towards him.

"Dave."

"Aaron I saw you called what's up?"

"I actually called on behalf of Spencer he nodded towards the car and Spencer got in as they drove away JJ again being the only one to notice the interplay.

"What is up with Spencer?"

"Well it seems he's been trying to get ahold of you to no avail. "

"Well I have been busy new book tour and all."

"Yes well here is Spencer now so I'll hand the phone over to him. "

"Dad" Spencer said

"What is up Spencer?"

"What's up is that I need help with Grandpa I need fincacial help and help to find him a live in care giver. Or at least someone who can drive him from place to place. "

"Fine send me all the details I'll get it sorted out I'm sorry I Have to go the reading is about to start."

"Okay fine I'll talk to you later." Spencer shut the phone and scowled. He handed it back to Aaron. "He'll help I guess I'll believe it when I see it but thank you."

"Anytime." Aaron said slipping his phone into his pocket.

"Are you okay I know all these cases are hitting hard."

"I'll be fine I just hope the next case in no way involves kids."

"I know but I also know our luck so I bet it will." Spencer shook his head as they pulled up in front of his building. "Thanks for the ride I'll see you in the morning." He gave a small almost defeated wave before going into the building.

Aaron watched him go and wished their job was a little bit easier that Spencer's whole life was a little bit easier.


	15. Chapter 15

I don't own Criminal minds

"That was draining." Spencer leaned his head back against the seat in Aaron's car.

"I really wasn't expecting that outcome." Aaron sighed scrubbing his hands over his face before he started his car to leave the air strip. He waved as Derek and the other's pulled out.

"She didn't kill anyone but she still died, so her son would have a good life it just seems all in vain." He shook his head.

"It's a mother's love." Aaron reminded him. "She protected her child from the horror's of her past."

"What happens when he finds out the truth. She won't be there to answer his questions. It will just be news articles that paint her in a bad light."

"I can't answer that." Aaron touched his shoulder. "Why don't we get you home. I think we could all use some sleep."

Spencer just nodded. Letting his head fall back and his eyes close. "Thanks for the ride." Spencer said getting out of the car and shouldering his bag. "I'll see you in the morning. Hopefully another case doesn't come up. Give Jack and Haley a kiss for me."

"I will get some rest Spence." He nodded and waved letting himself into his apartment. He put his things down and collapsed on his couch. He let himself sit there for a little while before getting up and heading to the shower. He just stood under the hot spray for awhile trying to get the image of Sarah Jean Dawes out of his head.

He had letter to write he had calls to make about his grandpa's care. He was exhausted and wanted to fall into bed. He couldn't until other things were taken care of. He got out of the shower and toweled off. He wrote the letter and sat his alarm so he could get up early and make the calls.

The next morning before he was ready his alarm was ringing. He groaned and shut it off. He got around made his coffee and picked up his phone his dad was supposed to be making these calls but that wasn't happening he guessed he should be thankful that he'd put money into an account for his grandpa's care. He set up interviews he got ready for work he drank at least two cups of coffee by the time he made it to the BAU and then went straight to the coffee pot when he got there.

"Whoa Reid I know you love Coffee but slow down." Derek joked.

"Shut up." Spencer snarled.

"Well somebody's in a bad mood." Derek backed up and headed to his own desk. Spencer just glard at him and drank his coffee.

"Hey Reid." Elle said.

"No leave Reid alone he may bite your head off." Derek shook his head.

"Derek." Spencer gritted out.

"Hey." He put his hands up in defense.

"Hey Jayje." Spencer said seeing his blond friend come into the bullpen.

"Hey just cold cases today."

'Good." Spencer sighed sitting down at his own desk. He figured he could work through those and then look over the people he'd set up interviews with.

He got through two where he set out his consults and gave them to JJ before heading up to Hotch's office. "Hey." He shut the door behind him.

"Hi." Aaron looked up from his own work. "I thought that since it was pretty quiet I could sneak out and do some of the interviews I have sat up. I handed my consults into JJ and I'll come back after the interviews are over."

"Go." Hotch told him. "Also come over to the house for dinner tonight. I know Haley and Jack would love to see you."

"okay." Spencer agreed.

"Hey where are you going?" Morgan asked looking up from his own work.

"I have some appointments I'll be back later."

"No fair." Morgan pouted.

"I already finished two cases you're not even half way through your first." Spencer pointed out before he left the office.

He met with three nice people and in the end picked out a nursing student to help get his grandpa from point a to be and make sure he took his meds and had a balanced diet. He then made his way back to the BAU.

"Hey Reid's back." Morgan said.

Spencer rolled his eyes. "I can see your still on the same case."

"Reid can I see you?" Hotch called from the catwalk.

"be right there." Spencer took his coat off and then headed towards Hotch's office. Once the door was closed Aaron looked up at him.

"So how did it go?"

"Good I hired someone so that's one load off my mind and dad promised to keep putting money into the account.

"The least he could do." Aaron mumbled.

"If that was all I'm going to head down to the bull pen and get a few more cases knocked out.

"Okay." Aaron nodded watching spencer go.

Later that night Spencer found himself pulling into the Hotchner driveway. He got to the door and it was thrown open. "OH Spence it's great to see you." Haley hugged him.

"You too Haley Mae." Spencer said hugging her back. He followed her into the house and scooped Jack out of Aaron's arms. "How is my little god son you've gotten so big Jackers."

"can't keep him in clothes." Haley joked.

"Well this god father will just have to buy him more won't he." Spencer tickled the baby.

"I made Lasanga I know how you like it." Haley said.

"Yum you spoil me."

"Well someone has to too." Haley said heading to the kitchen and getting the food. "Everyone to the table."

Spencer spent the night with good friends and good conversation snuggles from his adorable godson to help fight off the nightmares. As he left that night Aaron stopped him. "you know you're always welcome here right? Day or night."

"I know and thank you." Spencer said. He knew this was his unconventional family.


	16. Chapter 16

I don't own Criminal minds

"What are you three staring at?" Spencer asked seeing the three women looking up toward Aaron's office.

"Hotch's brother." Garcia whispered "He's yummy."

"Sean's here." Spencer wrinkled his nose in distaste."

"you don't like little hotchner?" Elle asked.

"I have nothing against the man." Reid said

"Sure." Elle rolled her eyes. Just then the two hotchner men came out of the office shouting at each other.

"Ah now I see it." Jj said.

"See what?"

"The resemblance."

"Maybe you can talk some sense into him he always listens to you." Sean Spat at Spencer as he went past." Spencer jumped upon hearing the door of Aaron's office slam shut.

"We do have a case." Jj pointed out.

"Give me five minutes. We'll meet you in the conference room."

"Seriously what is with the two of them?" Elle shook her head as Spencer walked up the stairs and into Hotch's office.

"We don't ask questions." JJ said. "Okay lets get up there."

Spencer didn't even bother to knock he just went into the office and closed the door behind him. "Okay Aaron what happened." He leaned against the door and watched his best friend.

"He isn't going to law school."

"Okay… and."

"And he's going to become a chef."

"Is there something wrong with being a chef?"

"It's wasting his potential." Aaron shouted putting his hands on his desk and glaring at Spencer.

"Hey don't get pissed off at me." Spencer shouted back. "Just because you think Sean should do one thing doesn't mean that's what's right for him. Sean is an adult who is following his own path now we have a case so lets get going." With that Spencer turned and let himself out of the office.

Aaron stood there stunned. "Spencer never yelled." He sighed wiped his hands down his face and then followed Spencer out of the office and into the conference room where JJ briefed them on their latest case.

A case that lead them into some wild territory. A case that maybe made Aaron see the error of his ways.

He sat next to Spencer on the plane ride home and leaned close. "You were right."

"I already knew that but what was I right about this time? Spencer snorted.

"Sean." Aaron sighed leaning back against the seat. "I have to let him live his own life not the life I want for him. I'm going to go and talk to him when we land.

"You're a good big brother." Spencer assured him knowing that was what was going through Aaron's head that he'd failed Sean as a big brother.

"I hope you're right." Aaron swallowed. They separated when they got to the tarmac. Aaron to the local diner that Sean worked at and Spencer to his apartment. Spencer's thought with Aaron as Aaron wrestled the demons of brotherhood.

A/N super short chapter but hey that's where it took me


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